2fat2handle:

my therapist asked me today what type of music i listen to, i couldnt bring myself to tell him the music genre is called “emo”

hippopotamuspoorboy:

if i start referring to you by your name you’re already my friend you cant escape

myladymother:

“did it hurt when you fell from heaven” is the most insulting counterproductive pickup line of all time because you know who the only other person to ever fall from heaven was

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